I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
