Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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