i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
