i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
