didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
