You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
