I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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