Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
if only i could text you this smell
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize