so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
