no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
