ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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