I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
