i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize