Plan B is the new Plan A
This girl is more easily done than said...
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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