I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
It's just like the Real World with babies
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
