why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
