I must be too annoying 4 u.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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