I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
