The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
