My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.