what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty