apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
