I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth