New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
