dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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