i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
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the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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