Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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