I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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