Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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