Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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