I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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