A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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