in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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