oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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