the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
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