the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
