Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
