She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
