His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
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There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
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Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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