well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize