and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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