I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
