If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
