be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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