Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
