Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Ketchup is God's man juice
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
