he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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