Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize