i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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