Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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