some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
