You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize