I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
