i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize