Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize