Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
