Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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