God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Houston, we have a blender
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
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