Fine. I'll sleep in my office
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
