I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
