Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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