she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
