I just cut my nipple shaving
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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