College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize